Objection my Lord!

curious cases overheard at the coutroom!

1.

• Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”
• Witness: “By death.”
• Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”

2.

• Lawyer: “This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?”
• Witness: “Yes.”
• Lawyer: “And in what ways does it affect your memory?”
• Witness: “I forget.”
• Lawyer: “You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?”

3.

• Lawyer: “Did you blow your horn or anything?”
• Witness: “After the accident?”
• Lawyer: “Before the accident.”
• Witness: “Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.”

4.

• Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
• Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
• Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
• Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

5.

• Lawyer: “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

6.

• Lawyer: “What happened then?”
• Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”
• Lawyer: “And did he kill you?”

7.

• Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–”
• Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”

8.

• Lawyer: “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

9.

• Lawyer: “So you were gone until you returned?”

10.

• Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
• Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”

11.

• Lawyer: “I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.”
• Witness: “That’s me.”
• Lawyer: “Were you present when that picture was taken?”

12.

• Lawyer: “Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?”

13.

• Lawyer: “You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?”

14.

• Lawyer: “You say that the stairs went down to the basement?”
• Witness: “Yes.”
• Lawyer: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

15.

• Lawyer: “Have you lived in this town all your life?”
• Witness: “Not yet.”

16.

• Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?”
• Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.”

17.

• Lawyer: “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”

18.

• Lawyer: “Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?”
• Witness: “The victim lived.”

couertesy www.rinkworks.com

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